Thursday, August 10, 2006

The war is knocking on my door

By Biri Rottenberg-Rosler

The war is knocking on my door. I don’t want to open, I don’t want to answer that call. I am not at home.

When I left Israel five weeks ago to travel in Europe, the soldier Gilaad Shavit was kidnapped. I felt very sad. I knew that my country is a crazy place. But I could not imagine how far it is going to get. I became a refugee. I travel along Israel, moving from one city to another, with my husband, our dog, his violin and 9 bags.

Traveling in Rome, Florence and Barcelona, I went to every church and museum I could. I looked at these holy pieces of arts. And I felt waves of envy all over my body. I never felt envy towards a painting before. But to see it hanging there, knowing exactly where he is going to be in the next generations, made me feel like a temporary exhibition.

By the time we arrived to the Pyrenees, the beautiful landscape started to mix with the ugly news. I got a SMS from a friend who's working with me. She wrote that In the middle of the staff meeting they saw the missiles crossing the skies. In another part of mother earth's skirt I was crossing the skies on a special train. The beautiful and powerful mountains around were looking at me with surprise. I wanted to run away, I felt like a prisoner of mother earth between heaven and hell.

I've never thought that I love my life here so much, that I will miss it. All these precious moments, all of this routine -it is me. It is my self. I miss drinking coffee on the balcony, I miss the Carmel Mountain and I am sure that he is missing me. I miss looking at my big glass windows and feeling secure.

The war is still knocking on my door, on my body, on my ears. It is everywhere. I am covered with a huge shawl of pictures of suffering, ruins, lonely people and lost dogs. I feel that we are all looking for our owners. I want this war to come to its end! I want my life and my self back.

Biri Rottenberg-Rosler, 30, Bibliotherapist, Ph.d student, Haifa university.

7 Comments:

Anonymous lee said...

Hello Biri,
You wrote beutifully - very evocative. The image of the dogs looking for their owners reminded me of this poem my friend wrote - http://israblog.nana.co.il/blogread.asp?blog=196093#18

9:23 PM  
Blogger Biriro said...

Hi Lee, thanks for introducing me to the beautiful poems

11:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love every word you write. wants to run away, love life, love living, where is there to run away?

4:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you write beautifully,touching our hearts.

yours from Jerusalem.

11:28 AM  
Anonymous Zoltan said...

Moved by your words of grace, beauty and truth. I believe those are the unique human qualities, which create a antidote to war. So wondering the fragile beauty of life, art and nature as you did, - and as we did by your reading your wor(l)d - is creating peace positively. I realized how tender peace is...

12:58 PM  
Blogger Biriro said...

Dear All. Thank you for your words. Today I have a seed of hope planting in my heart. I hope that my country will learn that mother earth got enough blood and tears. Our mother needs love, dialogue and tender touch. I hope this war will end soon.

6:15 PM  
Blogger Unlucky Prophet said...

To heart, love. Ecclessiastes 3:1 I have no idea what you're going through...

11:05 AM  

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